Have you ever self medicated an injury? Or programmed your own couch-side fitness routine? Or repaired an appliance? Only to wish you had recruited a pro?

Me too!

From electricians to doctors, we’ve all called on the services of at least one unqualified pro from our head.

I have a troop. And they’ve botched their traditional trades more often than the accountant in my head can count on her fingers.

What if we reassigned these pros to roles in our writing life? Would they shine?

Yes.

To show you how and help you discover which unqualified pros live in your head, let’s meet 8 who’ve botched life projects but can shine in the writing world.

The repairman

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Known for saving ovens and refrigerators from a junkyard fate.

Ever tinker under the sink? Or “fix” an appliance? Only to oops, make it worse?

That’s the handiwork of the repairmen in our heads!

Mine once replaced the belt and brush in my vacuum only to break the attachment hose on reassembly. Nothing a little duct tape couldn’t fix.

Could our repairmen take apart copy that’s not working? Absolutely. And we can trust them to toss the parts they can’t put back together.

The doctor

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Uses science to diagnose and treat sick or injured patients.

The one in my head does not. Doc has prescribed red wine and spicy food to protect me against colds and flu…ibuprofen & tape before rock climbing sessions…and a quick finger amputation when tendinitis flared up. (I ignored that one.)

Could she possibly treat my writing? You betcha. I bet she could lob off excess words with a surgeon’s precision.

The sommelier

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Known for picking the perfect vintage to compliment any dish.

Mine once paired an airline’s house red with the peanut butter and jelly sandwich I purchased before boarding the plane. It wasn’t horrible. But as the flight attendant pointed out, it would have paired better with the complementary peanuts.

I bet Steward could rock out less flavor dependent mashups, like weaving screenplay elements into a blog post or pairing a wanted poster with negative self talk.

See how this works?

The sketch artist

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Master of the caricature.

If you sat down at my easel, mine would present you with a lovely stick figure.

How would your sketches turn out?

Regardless, we can commission our artists to doodle during brainstorming sessions. Mine’s the priceless key to keeping the ideas flowing.

The financial planner

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Helps people make and reach sound financial goals.

The one in my head helps me hemorrhage cash.

Whenever Abacus crunches the numbers, they always add up to buy it.

New computer? No problem.

Fancy fountain pen that’s sure to cure writer’s block? Go for it.

Last minute winter getaway to Fiji? “I’ll help you pack.”

Ummm…What about my negative bank balance?

Abacus? [Crickets]

How can Abacus help my writing? I have no idea. Suggest ideas in the comments section below for a chance to win a Ditch The Block 7-day challenge. Your pick.

The florist

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Cultivates a colorful array of plants and flowers. Thanks to the one in my head…

Weeds thrive. Flowers cower. Or maybe that’s just how they look as they shrivel up and die. I can’t tell. But I can tell you poor Brown Thumb can kill anything.

Basil? Dead. Jade plant? R.I.P. little guy. Christmas greens? Melted. Thanks to unfortunate placement on a hot stove – they were plastic.

I bet she can help me kill my darlings…in my screenplay, not life by the way. I’ll just unleash her on the prose I love, but isn’t working.

The stunt coordinator

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Plans and choreographs dangerous action sequences that keep actors and stunt-doubles safe.

Mine’s more impulsive. She encourages me to climb kitchen cabinets to change a lightbulb…stack stuff to take out a cobweb…and scale grocery store displays to reach the top shelf.

Could she help me take risks with my writing? Yep. In fact I recruited her to choreograph this post. Otherwise you’d be skimming a been-done-a-gazillion-times post on solving writer’s block.

I hope this piece sparks some creative thinking…the ultimate block-buster. Don’t you think?

The organizer

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Brilliant at bringing order to chaos.

When you walk into my clutter-free apartment you’ll see that every book, photo and tchotchke has a home. The organizer in my head looks like a genius. Until…

I ask you to put on a hardhat before opening a cupboard or closet door. The jenga-style piles of boxes, papers, clothes, games, etc., teeter on toppling.

When I need someone to declutter my copy, I bet I can recruit her to man the culls document.

There you go – 8 pros who botch life projects but can save the writing day.

Have you thought of any unqualified professionals in your head who could rock out your writing project? If yes, nice! Introduce them to the Write 50 crew in the comments section below.

If not. No worries. They’re in there. I double-dog dare you to find them:-)

Pssst… This is meant to be a fun, stop-taking-projects-so-seriously, exercise.

Block-ditching Resources

An online field trip to Pixabay, a gallery of amazing royalty-free images, and my go-to spot for Write 50 media elements

playbook and game that challenges you to self-coach yourself through your writing blocks

Write 50’s Ditch The Block: The Write Your Words 7-Day Challenge

 

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